I need to do something before it is too late

I feel like the only reason that I am alive is because there is a reason behind my existence. This constant imaginary  feeling I have is driving me in spirals because it is nagging me to do something out of my comfort zone. Like accomplish one of the things on my to-do list and actually check everything off before my poor soul slowly decides it is time for me to turn myself in--- in favor for death. And we have another alter-ego of myself, one who is utterly lazy and making future arrangements to marry her bed because she does not want to get up to make accomplishments. I must be a weird human being aren't i?